Sometimes........

[msattler]

Yah know........
It NEVER had a clue to me that the mode were gonna do this again.
Not a clue.

I wuzz talking to my mum on th epone thatn wham.......no dice.

I can get a git off topic be, shit, don't diss me like that.

You ain't earned the rightr. dides.
You just ain't.

I have earned and bought and paid ofr every single right I have on these boarsd.

And while some do not agree that I have those rights, I freaking DO.

Half a millin creds a day.  I DO haver the righ5 to speak out.

It's gonna go down when summer comes up, but dammit, don, t diss me now.

[Hans Dorn]

U b& again, lol?



Sup

[msattler]

There once was this gal from Medina.......wnoa adkisses seeterthan wina.
Took her gack to my cave, and no soon a alve, found I that she dad no v........

[msattler]

I've been kicked again....shucks.

I don't give a rats's tetoot.

jjust a bit of whining  to do.]


And you bear the brunt


I cold bore you to death with Cling Easwood scenecxd, and just might soohn.

bute, weel, I have a few thingw to say.

And, as I seems, I won't say them noew, bcause moost of my statements are way too politicalliy incorrent to post enevn here.

So, screwi our silly areses into the next miellenium and wow.

Alls is grand.

Just remember to watch out over the street and ask what that tailpipe is doing.
and then, dro that hamburger

Therre is areason I come baeck in somewhat humar form and then brecames  kitty fodder.

Ther is is a reason.

[msattler]

My Squirrel child's first snow...........
Upon her   new grave/.

[msattler]

Describe what you see............

A broken  man?  An  inbicile,  a child?

What is it you see in my eyeys,   exactley?

[msattler]

I thought that perhaps I had healed enough to come out and play on Seti again.
I was wrong.  The pain is still too much to get past, and I still hurt too much to be even MY version of 'normal'.

Another 2 week time out is probably a good thing for me right now.......I guess healing takes more time than I had realized.
If anybody would choose to relay these comments into the Cafe, that might help some understand where I am and that I am OK.

Could some kind soul do that for me?  Perhaps William has come to understand a little bit of who I am now, and can forgive me enough to do it.

I don't wish anybody to think I have gone totally off of the rails beyond redemption.  I have not.  I shall not. I can not.

I just need more time, I guess, to grieve and adjust to 'life without Squirrel kitty'.  Almost 19 years of Squirrel kitty.

If the saying is true that 'tears make you a stronger man', I should be a titan by now....LOL.

Thank you once again for your tolerance of a weak man who is ruled by his emotions and a slave to his true heart.  It is not easy being me at times.  But I guess, given the choice, I would not take another path.

"I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference."

 For my Squirrel kitty...........
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upkYQqbrjSc

[msattler]

My feet were o6nce strong and sure,  my path well laid out afore me.
Not so sure where I shall wander these days.
Not so sure where the path now leads.

I shall not harm myself, friends, if that is what you fear.

 I am quite resigned to living as long as my God deems I should be here.

Meow .

[Vyper]

It's a shame what happens. I feel sorry for you but as i can't see what you have written in the forums i can't possibly see what has made people offended actually.
Again i'm sorry for your loss really.. But i also hope that you come to senses and don't overexpress yourself so we can see you in a more "sane" form in our forums.

Take care Mark. Don't punish yourself by the sorrow in the long run now, try to mourn and let go. You will feel like a new person when the time has come.

Kind regards Vyper

[msattler]

It's only the MODS that I offended, I think.  Questioning their sacred bit about not discussing mod actions on the boards.  F that bit.  I'll stand up and question God himself if I deem it appropriate.  And even HE understands that when I do.
God does not ban me for weeks at a time.  He and I have spoken a lot in the last few days since I lost Squirrel.  And he listens.  And he kisses my tears.  And he understands WHY I cry.
Am I less of a man because I go down at the loss of a feline friend?  I don't think so.  I think it makes me more of a man for admitting it.  She was much more to me than most  would or could admit.
She was much more to me than a simple cat or pet.  She was my child.  My own.  My loving companion for almost 19 years.
I nursed her for her medical conditions for YEARS, every single day. And when I could do no more, I had to release her from her suffering.  And that was an incredibly difficult decision to have to make.
I know I am not the first or only one to have faced these things. But, because I live virtually through the forums, I may have expressed my sorrow more than some.  And I am sure some are saying WTF is he going on about?  A freaking CAT???  It's just a cat.
No, my friends, she was NOT just a cat. Every day, she sat her beside me.  Every day, her big eyes beamed up at me.  Every day, she was a guiding light and friend.  Which I have now lost and mourn with all my heart.....
If you have even one iota of understanding of this, you will accept it and remain a friend.  If you do not, there is no way I could possibly explain it to you, because you lack the basic understanding of the situation to begin with.

Many thanks to those of you who DO understand just a bit. 

Time shall pass,   tears shall dry, and  bad memories shall eventually be replaced with the good ones. In the spring, I might even be inspired to go out to the shelter and rescue another kitty in need of their forever home.  There are so many.  As God says, when I close a door on you, I always open another for you to find your way.

And, as you have seen, I do not take this lightly.  Taking a companion animal into one's heart and home for me is a lifetime commitment.  Cradle to grave.  That is what it requires and demands.

Of course, in return, your soul is rewarded ten or twenty fold. 

Meow, friends.

[msattler]

I woke up today and looked outside and there was snow, just a little snow on the ground.
You know what the very first thought was that went through my mind?
Go ahead and guess.

Gee, this is Squirrel's first snow.

It did not take but an instant.  A nanosecond.

I have a long way to go to recover from my loss.  Much farther that I thought I did.

LIterally every step I take reminds me of her.
I used to have to step carefully down the hall to go to the kitchen, because she would often sleep on the floor betwixt.
I still do it. 
I took a bath the other day and when I was done,there was another thing.
Squirrel always liked to jump into the warm, damp, bath when I was done and meow like the dickens to be petted.
It was just a thing of her's.

Things that you realize once they are gone, I suppose.

19 years is a long time to remember and get over.  I hope that some of you are human enough to  understand that.

[msattler]

Ya know what I really ../want?

Closkure.
The one true thing most people cannot ever get from theiir friends.
Because they just keep hanging ariound......like that musk smell.
It's just always THERE.
And it's not like they really want to  be there.
It's just liike they want tio hang around....be in the foyer.....
Want to be in the myst./..........

I have had my say .......or so it seems.

I don't want much more and will not stand for more.
The mod have had their way now..........
I am going to  be diistand now.
This is what you want.
This is what you wished for.\\

This is what you get.

Meow.
\
Distance is my thing now.

Far away kitty.

This is what you wanted.  Distant kitty.

[Pizzadude]

Looking back at this thread I think that what you really want is "Spell Check" turned on .................

[msattler]

OH, now I know where friends come from ...........or do not.
Nice help there......

I'll go now, for a long time.

Bye.

[msattler]

 And ya know........
Novbody will know exactly who shot hiim down.
Who killed the kittyman?
Guess it was the mods that finally done him in.
He only asked that his  grave be kept clean.

You can find that song on the wind.
Just search for PPM......they shall always sing my songs.
The wind shall take me where I must go.

Goodbye, my  friends.

Goodbye.