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Author Topic: Random musings  (Read 49625 times)

Offline msattler

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Random musings
« on: 10 Aug 2013, 05:43:40 am »
Here is a man.........
A man who for much of his life has done what he can for something he loves.
And for that..........he has been banished.
To his own Twilight Zone.

Witness one kittyman.  A man who has been sent away.  To his own trials and tears.
Away from his friends and all that he loves.
Most cannot taste his tears.
But he swallows that in abundance.

He lies in state now........wondering if it's worth pawning his soul just to send a message to his friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9WOZPnOhaA

In.........his own twilight zone.

Offline Pizzadude

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #1 on: 10 Aug 2013, 08:43:18 pm »

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #2 on: 16 Aug 2013, 05:40:24 pm »
My sources.
My loss, her.
I have a little bit of a gift, men and me seem to have a bit of drift.
My ladies and I.......\
You shall understand some day.

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #3 on: 16 Aug 2013, 07:32:38 pm »
Go on and hold her.........
I know the song.
I helped her put the lyrics together.  She looked at me with such sad eyes..............
Because her lover would not admit she wuz a lez. 
Years went by and one day this song came out.
Melissa could simply not hold it in anymore.
Onlu One went top ten in the first twenty markets it hit.
It dived once it was on the news that it was a song to her missing lover.

So much for telling the truth.

No, I am not saying I am bi.   I have been down that road.
Les gurlz are really cute.....but anyways......

When it all comes down........"I been there before, and I locked out the door, and I ain't going back there again.'

I hope I have made that sufficiently clear.  I am a guy......likes gurlz.  Way too much.0
I also have a thingy for gulr meets gurl.  Hence the Melissa cut.
You figure it out....I have not yet. [url=

Best version of her best song.............
"I wanna come over, to hell with the consequence.'
Lover, I burn..........[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY2XYDqvSGI]I wanna come over..........



Go ahead, believe the mods when they tell you nothing's wrong.
When all the promises are gone..........
I am the only one.

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #4 on: 16 Aug 2013, 07:50:05 pm »
I must admit.......
There are a lotta problems I have not sorted yet.
I have yet to  forgive some comments made in by absence.

Don't know if I can.

I shal try.........

I'll get gone, and I got a full tank of gas..........
And,  [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6H7AQ1MShE]Perhalps you might sleep whilst I drive.[/url]

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #5 on: 16 Aug 2013, 07:56:48 pm »
She aih't fakin' it............

Her best performance of the song.

Honey, I AM the only one.

I will post in the Cafe about her Joplin presence...........later, kids.


Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #6 on: 16 Aug 2013, 11:44:59 pm »
There are some things I have been wrong about in this life.
And I know I got them badly whacked.

This gurl is not one of those things.

I always walk alone.

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #7 on: 16 Aug 2013, 11:47:15 pm »
I may be wrong, but I think she is siinging to Melissa.

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #8 on: 17 Aug 2013, 08:59:25 am »
Just another post from the kitty warning system..........
Iams pet food recall alert.....

Meow!

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #9 on: 18 Aug 2013, 09:43:30 am »
I post this here today because the mods at Seti have chosen to banish me for yet another two weeks.
I am angry beyond words.
What is this extendaban BS????
Anyway...........
PLEASE forgive me for venting here.
I have nowhere else to go.
I have shut down all rigs except this, my daily driver.
When the smoke clears, I may settle down and restart them.
Or not.

EDIT...
I have since restarted them all.
I am better than that, and my screaming like a cat in heat ain't gonna help or change anything.
All back up now.

I thank you all who have remained my friends through all my trials and tribulations.
Meow,
Mark



I suppose many expected my first post back to be........an apology.
Not this time, kids.  Not whatsoever.  Not ever again.

Never again.  You either accept me for what I am or I am gone.
I am a very unique individual, and for what it's worth, ####f, yes, I HAVE expierienced more than you or some others have in their lifetimes.
Not to say that some others have not had some unusual life experiences as well.  But, mine seems to have been chock full of them.

I made the mistake, it appears, to have shared them here.
These are things, for whatever reason, I would not even share with my MOTHER.
SHE does not know these thingys.


Did it ever occur to any of you that a few of us are wound so tight that we cannot express ourselves until we are equally wound tight in the other direction?

That's my life.  Painfully shy and introverted.  Until I drink.  And then, years of layers of pain unravel and I start to reveal myself.
Which, it seems, makes the kittyman less appealing.

I placed my trust in the Seti kinship to understand that, and most have for many years.
I actually have come to appreciate and accept 'vote ban' time outs.
They show that the mods know I need a rest.  Some times the kitties stare at me and wish me to bed with them.

But this time, it seems I have been peed on rather badly, not by the mods, but by my peers (such as they pretend to be).
Even cat pee has never smelled so bad.

It was hurtful.  Very hurtful.

To have some whom I trusted that have questioned my ability to properly do my job, or to question how I can hold a job??????
Are you simply insane? I am not......yet.

You are talking out of your *******s.  Assuming that all that I present at times is your total bank of knowledge.

Let's get this straight, and I assure you, I AM whilst composing this message.

I do NOT drink 24/7.  I don't get up every morning and need 'something to take the edge off'.
I bust my butt at work for 40 hours or more a week, and then when my week's work is done......I binge.
Sometimes badly so.

And, it's then that you see my dark side.  My real side.  I quit pretending that everything is a bed of freaking roses and speak my mind.

I have spent almost 25 percent of my LIFE doing Seti. I know others have too.
I have spent perhaps $40,000.00 or MORE doing Seti during that time. That is a LOW estimate.
Between machine builds and mostly the electricity costs.
I can support that with actual electricity bills, kids.

How many of you who call me down can say that??
I have done more work for the project that only a few other participants on the PLANET.
And you're damned right I consider that to be something to be proud of.
Better than you?  It depends on what standards you accept as meaningful.
Crunching contributions?  Cash contributions?  I have made generous bits of both.

Yeah, I know it was not demanded of me.  It was only my OCD thingy.
And, I realize that does not buy me a free pass on the forums.
A bit of special care and handling perhaps.
That's what mods are for.

And you need to know that this post was composed over many days,  all sober.
I wanted to be sure that it was not my anger and hurt doing ALL the talking.

If I were, my statements might take a decidedly different tack.  And it would get very ugly for some of you.
Best I Just walk away.....

In summary, most of you have deeply wounded the kittyman.
I hope it has made you feel better, supposing you are superior to me, you know it all, and you have the answers to all the problems I have in this life.

Meowsigh, if the saying stays true, what does not kill one, makes one stronger.
I hope my inner self can make it through this one.
 
If the kittyman does not succumb to his wounds, I suppose he might return some day.
I post this after days of composing it.

If you cannot accept the above statements as true whilst I am sober.........
I can just shut down and save a half a grand a month.

I love the quest, but cannot any longer tolerate the abuse.  I know I dish it out, cannot take the responses.

I have seen all your responses in my absence.
That's how I could see your posts about me.  I don't know if you realized that or not.
You have to take the kind kittyman with his alter ego at times.
The two are part and parcel.
You cannot take one without the other, and I am about done arguing about it.

Cannot handle it today,


Not today.


« Last Edit: 18 Aug 2013, 10:43:28 am by msattler »

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #10 on: 18 Aug 2013, 12:02:34 pm »
A link I think you should all see.
I have posted this wonderful song by KD Lang.
But, kids,  Cohen  wrote it. ............

And he does a rather grand version of it himself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJTiXoMCppw

KDs sexual gender bit gave the whole song a different meaning.
You can take from it what you want.

Religion?  I suppose.
What one cant take from it is her voice.
None to compare with that.
« Last Edit: 18 Aug 2013, 12:10:11 pm by msattler »

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #11 on: 19 Aug 2013, 10:55:54 am »
And for those who might be wondering, yes, the kittyman is alive and well today.
Thank you.

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #12 on: 23 Aug 2013, 09:36:57 am »
It's only for the few of you who still care that I respond.
I a;m still OK.

My crunchers are up and down according to temps here.

Mostly down all next week.  90s here.  Sorry.
Signing olff till we next meet again.

Meow and out.

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #13 on: 23 Aug 2013, 11:51:13 am »

I have what I can onlline at the moment........
The temps are projected to be in the high 80s for the next week or so........
So the kitties shall have to be shutting down all things for the most of the next couple of weeks the way it looks.

This is NOT a response to the way the mods have treated me on Seti.........
Please know that and pass that on.
I will deal with that and give them what they deserve later.

My dropping RAC iis due to heat issues, one cruncher that is down, and mostly due to the lack of AP............

My rigs are all set up to  the optimal crunching of AP WUs, which means a lot of CPU cores disables for the serving of GPUs.
When AP is not being available, those cores are idle, so overall production goes down.

I give and shall continue to give all that I can to Seti.
Miy problems are and never have been with the project that I love.
Just with the mods.

Love you all and shall forever continue my quest.
Meow.

Mark.

Offline msattler

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Re: Random musings
« Reply #14 on: 23 Aug 2013, 04:27:20 pm »
I am not unlike JLL...........

OK, cats........if that's the way you really want it, I can do it.

I did it before some of you cut your eye teeth on Seti.

"Follow that, killer,........ oh, yeah.

Lesson is..........
NEVER question a man for his love of a woman.........
No matter what either one's age......
Some things might amiaze the simple f out of you.

I met Lori when I was 21 or so.
We are both now 56.

I was through hell and back by then.  And continued from then until now.
She does not go online, but if she did..........


Just promise me this...........Don't put no Headstone on my Grave.
« Last Edit: 23 Aug 2013, 04:41:54 pm by msattler »

 

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